Microagressions and Microchips
A Story of Sweet Revenge
Year 2: #48
Maybe someday, AI will help people see through their prejudices. Perhaps there can be a Google glass-type invention that allows white American preschool teachers to not over-discipline black boys.
Or in my case, maybe the same glass can help groups of dominant culture men from holding mixed-raced kids to impossibly high standards in youth baseball.
A few weeks ago I wrote about a drinking party where the fathers of my son’s same-grade baseball teammates called me out and told me that they were concerned that he wasn’t working hard enough and that his swing speed was too slow.
I will address the swing speed thing later, but please remember that detail that talking shit about my son’s swing speed was a thing.
In addition to talking shit about my son, they broke down how to succeed in sports to me like I was an idiot.
“Mr. Williams, you have to understand that in sports you have to try to get better. If you want to play baseball you have to try to throw the ball faster and hit the ball harder.”
As a 43-year-old man who still bench presses over 100kg, and has had some moderate success in a variety of sports, I took personal offense to this but mostly kept my mouth shut…until the next drinking party.
There were more people at the next baseball drinking party, about ten. I know that I can get out of hand when I drink, so up until this season I had largely avoided the drinking parties.
But, Japanese culture has some deep-seated beliefs about drinking strengthening social bonds and group dynamics. So, I wanted to try to be a team player and fit in in hopes that my son would have a better experience.
Well, the dads ended up ordering me drinks, and I ended up crossing that line. I went into “I-love-you-man” mode and told them all how much I love baseball, Japanese baseball, and sports in general. Then I went on about the importance of strength training.
I basically made a power play to frame myself as competent in sports, made a fool of myself, and ended up stumbling home and was hungover the next day.
Some of you have probably read Tokyo Vice, or seen Mr. Baseball or heard that in Japan nobody talks about how drunk you were after drinking parties. Well, the people who say stuff like that probably never went that hard.
Yet, the next week, the dads were all happy to see me. Despite my regrettable amount of drinking, they were glad that I let loose a bit.
Everyone was laughing and recapping the antics, and making sure that I was ok the next day. A couple of people even hinted remorse for pressuring me to drink. But, I took credit and assured them I wouldn’t drink like that in the future.
I am not trying to over-glorify this, because it was unhealthy, and I could have easily gotten negative.
But, I accomplished three things. I strengthened our social bond, made people think twice about opening their mouths to me about my son, and I drank so much that I effectively created a get-out-of-jail-free card for drinking parties.
Unfortunately, it didn’t directly lead to better treatment of my son.
The next game, the team lost 0-4, and 11-1. My son got the only RBI hit, and it was the only hit their team got against that team in a doubleheader. It was an opposite-field single.
In the post-game talk in front of players and parents, the coach said, “It is good we didn’t get shut out in the last game. Williams got our only RBI hit, but he didn’t use any special technique and his swing speed is still slow. But sometimes that happens.”
I asked my son later what his approach at the plate was.
He said, “Well, my coach says that if it is an outside pitch, I should wait on it and try to slap it into the opposite field so he did that.”
In other words, he used the exact technique his coach taught him, and the coach still just called him lucky.
Yesterday, a week later, the team went to a baseball event hosted by a local high school. It was for 5th and 6th-grade players. They practiced, scrimmaged, and did some skill tests.
One of the skill tests was a swing speed measurement.
My son took home the award for having the top swing speed of all 5th graders at 121kph(75mph).
They awarded him a ball, and he accomplished that as a representative of his team.
Some of the kids told him that it was only that fast because he swung a light bat.
Maybe Google can make the anti-prejudice glasses in kids’ sizes, too.
Until then, at least my son has a nice little reward to show for all the hard work he is putting in.
Go Noah!!! 👏